Today, there were tears. Tony cried. Bailey cried. I cried. All sparked by different reasons but with one common tie, we are all hurting.
Tony's hurting is both physical and emotional. The blood clots are continuing to cause excruciating pain in his arms. He is taking pain medication around the clock but that does not help. Finally, after days without sleep because the pain won't stop, he falls asleep from sheer exhaustion. Only to wake up and suffer all over again. He told me the other day that I couldn't imagine what it was like to endure that kind of pain, every second of every minute of every day. I told him I couldn't. He was very emotional today and I can see the toll this situation is taking on him. He misses his health. I miss my Tony.
Bailey is struggling with all those issues that go along with being this age. She will be 13 in two weeks and finding out that we are not going to be able to give her a birthday party at this time is hard to accept. She tried so hard to keep a strong face, knowing that things happen but on the other hand, knowing how important this was for her. Tony told her how sorry he was and that this was all his fault. Telling her that if he wasn't sick, we would be able to afford this. She lovingly told him it was not his fault and that he was more important than any birthday party.
And then there is me...hurting.